Episode 7: The Mork From Ork Awakens

This week we realize the show’s mission to record and examine the process of alcoholic descent into incoherence in its platonic ideal of downward sloping trajectory.  Somehow it makes for compelling radio anyway.  Consider this the Russian dash cam video of podcast episodes.

Alli has jury duty, Jeff has car trouble and Varg has a bathtub. Nobody is really back from the holidays and now we have to start Carnival. In the meantime, Jeff tries to make the show pretend news is happening.

The news: Gene Mills is a terrible person, Jeff is strangely optimistic about the new governor, the river is in flood.  It is suggested that the river can be calmed by throwing a sacrificial football into it.

The other news:  A comically hip Bywater spot closed this week. (Surprise! It was a Pop-Up the whole time.) Everyone shares their favorite Booty’s memories. Predictably, Doug MacCash is involved.  Varg recommends several places you can still eat in Bywater. Somehow this leads to Alli explaining what a caganer is and also showing us that she has one.

In sports, Sean Payton really loves potholes. Probably because he’s on drugs. Also probably because nobody wanted to hire him… probably also because he is on drugs.

Meanwhile, thanks to the intrepid reporting of @angrywhodat, we learn that Sean Payton’s brother is a vaguely racist  professional magician. Because of course.

Also some college football happened.

Other items of note: Alli’s mom says “Phat,” Kenny Chesney is the Drake of football, and Varg really likes Les Miles’s style. Also Jeff is strangely optimistic about the 2016 Saints.

In this week’s Are You Not Entertained Varg has some oysters and harasses Sugar Bowl fans. Jeff and Varg check out the Phunny Phorty Phellows. Alli watches baking shows and plays laser tag.

This segment is where things really start to come off the rails.  Bonus points if you can spot the many edits. Somehow we still manage to learn that Varg really likes scrunchies, Jeff wants to be homeless when he grows up, and that people who live in different regions sometimes talk funny. Also Flora-Bama Chad drops in for a few words.

Jivewire this week features a few submissions this week from Kevin Allman. (Submit your gig to us via twitter, email, etc.)

Alli shares a recipe minute, and then the whole show collapses in the traditional drunken moment of self-actualization.

Thanks again for listening.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 6: The Hunkerdowncast 2015 Year In … quite detailed… Review

Settle in, y’all this one runs long.  But we’re sure it’s worth it. Probably.  We don’t want to get involved in grading this episode or anything but, if we did, let’s say it’s a solid C.

Just kidding. It’s the Hunkerdowncast 2015 Year In Review (Not to be confused with Gambit’s “Best of”) and of course you will want to listen to the whole two hours.. at your leisure.

In this one, we each take turns sharing our individual lists of the stories and events that made 2015 what it was.  Topics will definitely include but not necessarily be limited to the following.

VARG’S 2015

– Winning Mardi Gras

– Katrinaversary angst and Katrinaversary angst angst.

– The Tenth Rising Tide Conference

– The Smoking Ban

– Jazzfest crowd control

– More layoffs at the Times-Picayune

ALLI’S 2015

– The Lafitte Greenway opens

– The public library millage

– Movies about space

– Exhibit Be

– Twitter comedy

JEFF’S 2015

– The Gubernatorial Election

– Bobby Jindal’s (sort of) Presidential campaign

– NOLA Gentrification

– SELA project and road construction

– Monument angst

– Many many sports things

Along the way we learn about how to score Mardi Gras like football. We encourage the public to troll Engineer Pat on the internet. Allen Toussaint maybe sort of drove like an asshole a little bit. Jeff is particular about where he parks his bike.

Assorted media commentary: We really lay into poor Doug MacCash for some reason.  We also get after Jeff Duncan for.. well.. obvious reasons. We’re also quite nice to Alison Fensterstock.  Tyler Bridges and Jeremy Alford are working on a book we will want to read.

Varg explains that there are C, B and A level assholes. Alli likes movies that have fun sound effects. Muppet baseball is some sort of a thing. Also, it doesn’t matter if you are a child or a city official, you probably will enjoy some art.

Other things happen. Alli explains that the city of New Orleans is built on top of wet coffee grounds. The first hint of the long promised “Moseley on Moseley” sketch appears. Jeff begins the show being kind of mean to Mayor Landrieu but later on is nice to him.

Finally we share some 2016 predictions. And, just in case that isn’t enough, we run you through the Jivewire again.

Special thanks to @Peris for the King Cake vape question.  Thanks also to Scott Colesby (@socalledsomeone) for this bluesy “Ace of Spades” cover. And, of course, our friend and honoree @NotBobbyJindal You may pick up your prize if and when we figure out what it is.

Anyway thanks for listening. Happy New Year. Come back and see us in 2016.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 5: The Hunkerdowncast Holiday Special

So it’s Christmas Eve Eve.. or as the popular culture has deemed it.. Festivus.  Are we recording tonight from Carrollton? West Carrollton?  Hollygrove?  Varg thinks it’s “the non-shooting side of Hollygrove” but the map may not agree.

This week we’re gonna just take Twitter questions for a while. Thanks to Tim and Karl and also Shira for your submissions.

Varg very badly wanted to be the mastermind behind the scenes profiting from the monument controversy but it didn’t quite work out.

The Confederate Museum has become the “Up” house.

“Aggressive tweeting” is usually not a good outreach strategy. If you’d like to be on the show tweet at us tactfully in 2016.

Jeff and Pat are the Pullman/Paxton of the Hunkerdowncast Universe. Various other famous (and not so famous) people look like other famous or not famous people. For instance, Alli has a thing for Kliff Kingsbury and/or Ryan Gosling. This leads to us looking at our phones for a while.

The Texas Tidy Bowl is coming. Texas Tech cunningly plays no defense. Les Miles goes Christmas shopping in the way that you would expect Les Miles to go Christmas shopping.

Is Drew Brees gonna play or what?  Do you even need a plantar fascia anyway? The Saints’ season wasn’t good but this doesn’t mean it was boring. We re-cap some of our favorite moments.

Marques Colston is old.  Varg asks for help differentiating Ralph Marbrough from Bradley Warshauer.  Anyway.. Marques Colston is old.

What is the best local Holiday recording?

Varg likes this song.  Varg actually has a whole list. Alli forces us to talk about the 12 Yats of Christmas.  We discuss our Christmas plans and try not to be too glum about it despite the crap weather. Everyone seems like they’re in a strange mood about it.  Varg hates Mr. Bingle, for example, and he takes it out on the LaBordes for some reason.

In “Are You Not Entertained” this week, we all went to a soccer game which was ruined by Tom Benson somehow.  In a related matter, Varg once tripped while wearing an alligator costume. Also the St. Louis Cathedral is a crappy music venue.

Congratulations to Alli on her academic achievement. But more importantly, Jeff is still really sick of Bronze Tom.

Recipe Minute with Varg’s Manhattan-inspired cocktail.

Jivewire (Please get out and see Drunk Ros Fest if you can)

Have a great Holiday, everybody. Thanks for listening.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 4: Monument Bingo

Hey congratulations to us on not even knowing what number episode this is supposed to be. We’re gonna celebrate by drinking. Thanks to the listeners. If you are a listener we will probably say your name on the show.

Mid-City looks a lot like Metairie these days. The Greenway is nice but…

Aaaanyway let’s talk about Confederate monuments. The City Council held like the 50th public hearing on monument removal Thursday night and Engineer Pat created a Bingo board for those of you playing along at home.   (Of course every player blacked out the board by the end.) In any case, we liked watching the hearing. It was fun to watch people we know on TV. It was also fun to watch some people we don’t know say crazy things. Also, learn about the French Revolution in your spare time if you have any. Meanwhile, LaToya Cantrell wants to be mayor. That might mean something here.

Some people who live in the Lower Pontalba apartments are getting their rent jacked up.  One of them thinks Jackson Square is a “cesspool.” Varg takes issue with that. Jeff has difficulty pronouncing the word, “Pontalba” It is legal to edit Wikipedia pages. 

In sports, we lament the demise of the USFL 30 years later because Donald Trump is the worst. Steve Spurrier might have been a fun NFL commissioner. The Saints are bad, still. Brandon Browner is not particularly great. Sean Payton may or may not be sleeping with his possibly imaginary esthetician. There are 4 games left but the Saints have already shut it all down for the year.

Notre Dame lost to Stanford which is a thing they don’t like to do. Alli explains some bowl pairings and the College Football playoff. Apparently, people like Michigan State. We ruminate on Tiger Stadium memories and try to find out if people can hear a photograph we are looking at.

This week’s Are You Not Entertained segment finds Varg checking out the holiday decorations and cocktail service at the Roosevelt Hotel. What is the correct seasonal liquor?  What is the correct “old man” liquor? What is the correct “cool weather” liquor?  What is the correct “the Saints are having a shitty year” liquor? One festive holiday activity at the Roosevelt involves watching drunk people do faceplants.

Alli visits Houston and has fun there. They have an Ikea and some tacos and other starches and breads. There’s also food you can buy between Houston and here. Alli shares a very short Recipe Minute.

Jeff went to a bar and endured multiple Scott Weiland jukebox tributes.

Which famous musician dies next? Tweet us your thoughts!

 

Jeff has had so much beer that he cannot pronounce the word, “Jivewire.”  Also, check out the fancy acoustic Stone Temple Pilots bumper music courtesy of Engineer Pat. Thanks again, everyone for listening!

We hunkered down again!

Episode 3.5 We Know Where The Turkeys are Buried

A different kind of Freebird. (Jeff and Alli. No Varg this time)

So Louisiana elected a new Governor and sent David Vitter off into the great beyond and it is at least partially due to Bobby Jindal saving the day. Now it’s up to John Bel Edwards and his friends at Confederate General Hall to Make Louisiana Great Again.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and we have many many recipe minutes to share. One of those involves burying turkeys in the back yard and… waiting for them to sprout.. or something.

In sports, Les Miles Lives! The Detroit Lions have a fun fight song. Huey Long invented great football fight songs. “John Bel” is in the great tradition of Louisiana Governor names.

Finally, some extended commentary on the crime of refrigerating tomatoes. (As seen on Shutdown Fullcast)

Next week… Episode 4? Or do we examine Zeno’s Paradox again?

We hunkered down again!

Episode 3 Bye, Bye Bobby…

Hey look Alli is back and she is everyone’s favorite. Bobby Jindal is quitting the Presidential race so we stoop so low as to do a “Breaking News” sound effect. But it’s okay because Alli sings a song.  It’s not Bobby’s time. When was Bobby’s time anyway? Get ready for the Bobby Jindal Legacy Mystery Tour. We try to figure out what went wrong with Bobby and decide it’s because he’s a nerd but not in a fun way.  Also he is phony and just generally not good.

Oh but uh oh now we have to go get a new governor. Can John Bel Edwards win and how badly will he suck?  Is David Vitter a “dork” or an “asshole”?  Alli officially endorses John Bel.  Syrian refugees sort of become a campaign issue. NOLA.com runs a Q&A on the topic.

Jeff promised to put more refugee links in the show notes. Here are two.

Juan Cole: Paris terrorist attacks: Can France avoid trap of fear and exclusion?

Lydia Wilson: What I Discovered From Interviewing Imprisoned ISIS Fighters

A very shouty debate happened this week.  How many “goofy” governors have there been? David Vitter wants us to ride around in purple party buses or something.

Some… um… experimental bumper music happens.

In sports, we… well we had to do a second take because the first time we left the reverb on.  Alli really wants to talk about Notre Dame but we have trouble getting excited about that. Otherwise, we’re very sad about the Saints. We’re sad about Rob Ryan. There are sad ways to watch sad football such as from airplanes and The Orient.  We’re sad about many things because sports are sad nowadays.

Sean Payton trolled the press because Larry Holder wrote this and Nick Underhill wrote this.  Saints defensive coordinators are ritually fattened and harvested. Sean Payton is a dick and Rob Ryan is a great man who will be missed.  We rank New Orleans sports mascots.

New segment! “Are you not entertained?”  Varg sees Pucifer at the Saenger, Neid Degrasse Tyson also at the Saenger, and James McMurtry at One Eyed Jack’s.  Alli tours the various subway systems of Japan and Singapore.  Jeff visits the emergency room.

The Recipe Minute is back and longer than ever. The Jivewire also is back.

This was a good show. Thanks for downloading and listening.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 2.75: Official Endorsements

Yet another “Freebird rules” episode while Alli is away conducting serious international diplomacy.   This week we power through a bit about the Governor’s race.  What did Jay Dardenne get for endorsing JBE? Inspired, Varg goes ahead and endorses several politicians in hopes of one day receiving favors. Meanwhile, we try out our Kaare Johnson impressions for some reason.

In sports, are the Saints forked? Is Basketball Season already over? Does anybody remember Lynell Hamilton?  Defensive coordinators are the nation’s clowns.  Brad Wing has done things. The Tennesee Titans may or may not be like David Vitter in certain ways. Also Kai Forbath kind of looks like this one guy.

forbath

Varg promises to write a poem called “Redemption of Snead”

Finally, Twitter changed a thing and a bunch of people freaked out about that.  This leads to an extended esoteric discussion of what the internet is even for.  (Either it’s about reading the news or it’s about learning who pooped.)  We wisely refrain from reading tweets on the air.

Next week, we’re pretty sure Alli will be back. Thanks for Hunkering.
We hunkered down again!

Episode 2.5: Fix Our Treats!

  • More freebird rules

  • Alli is drunk somewhere

  • WTF is Halloween?

  • Waves of twitter hate

  • Solicit offerings?

  • All about your base are belong to us

  • Fix my Treats!

  • Only in Nola!

  • Yes, Jules Bentley

  • See “Don’t be a ghost on Halloween” and “Farewell to the Flesh: Notes on a Cybernetic Carnival
  • Attack of the Planet class!

  • Is Pants a snob?

  • SPONSOR MESSAGE

  • Louisiana deserves better / to be entertained.

  • Elections are boring

  • Free / C. Ray Nagin

  • Vitter ran. Weed or SuperPac?

  • Vitter is a pussy. So says JBE

  • What is a klatch?

  • Bad ninja filming

  • Newell Norman can intimidate you

  • Tracking the Noligarchs (Noligarchs Map)

  • Cummings are coming

  • Vitty ain’t no outsider

  • Pants/Mr. Smith talks about government

  • See The Advocate on John Bel’s vs Vitter’s Education policy
  • Fuck parking meters

  • See NOLA.com letters to the editor from Les Colonello and Nick Detrich
  • Chaos makes money

  • Saints defense is doing what it is supposed to do.

  • Stephone Anthony is doing what he is supposed to do

  • Deurty Boys is open! All is good!

  • Satire and tomfoolery is good!

We hunkered down again!

Episode 2: Suprisingly Wonky

This week we take the show on the road.  If you sponsor our podcast we will air all your dirty laundry.  We get into a serious thing about the Governor’s race and the minimum wage.  In sports, a weekend of college football where all the good guys won.. except Florida if you are Varg. Also don’t bring your cat to a football game. Finally, the mayor wants to jack up the price of parking in the Quarter.  All this plus a new Recipe Minute. And  the Jivewire is back, too. Listen and share with your friends!

We hunkered down again!

Hunker Downcast Episode 1.5 (Freebird rules)

Episode 1.5

– Subtext of misogyny in Back to the Future movies

– Mary Steenburgen is hot

– Streaks should stay

– Fuck Boston
– “Freebird rules”
– Schmaltzy Jeff likes to vote

–  WTF is an AltWeekly?

– An AltWeekly in New Orleans is Clancy
– Dardenne is a safe, even handed, non boat rocker

– Jeff reads an editorial with melodrama

– Jindal is Stannis

– Gambit is chickenshit

– Oh, there was a Democrat debate
– Jeff wont finish his list

– Drug testing welfare recipients isn’t conservative
– F.L.A.

– Dardenne is a dick

– Jeff is so drunk

– More endorsements stuff

– Who writes this Times – Picayune shit?

– Vitter is an asshole

– Everything the Times-Pic says is bullshit

– Gambit is a pleaser

– A Langston Hughes poem

– Who is the optimist here?

We hunkered down again!