Episode 8.5 – C The Mardi Gras Superkrewe Review (Final Unit)

This is the third of three parts to our Mardi Gras review. Jeff and Varg talked for a very long time about every single thing that happened.  (Freebird style because Alli was out sick)  You can find Episode 8.5-A and 8.5-B at Hunkderowncast.com  By this point there has been much drinking over a period of several hours so.. try to bear with us.

Jeff, again, pitches the idea of moving Orpheus to Fat Tuesday night.  Varg hates this idea and does not let up on it at all. Much drunk talking in circles ensues but it seems like this might be an Uptown vs Downtown thing.

It’s impossible to do everything on Mardi Gras Day. Jeff hit the regular tirfecta of seeing Zulu and Rex and the Wild Magnolias signing Indian Red Later on there was the traditional live-tweeting of the Rex ball.

Varg saw many strange things; babies driving cars, people dancing on cars, people twerking on an Uber.. probably some other things involving cars. Varg describes his costume as well as the concept of “accidental larping.”

Jeff reads through his final parade rankings again.   Varg reads through his Mardi Gras rules. (They’re somewhere in his Twitter feed ) We answer a list of Twitter audience questions. (How does Mardi Gras change as we age?  What is the worst Mardi Gras injury you’ve seen? How much crap did you eat this year? What were the best costumes? Politicians in parades? A few others.)  We agree this was a good Mardi Gras… maybe not a great one.

Also thanks to Seth Hitsky and the Black Dragons for the CD. We’ll work it into an upcoming show. 

Thanks again for listening to the Mardi Gras triple episode.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 8.5 – B The Mardi Gras Superkrewe Review (Second Unit)

This is the second of three deluxe recordings of Jeff and Varg recapping Mardi Gras (Freebird style because Alli is out sick)

Already many beers in, Jeff expounds on the beauty of standing around outside drinking. Then it’s back into recapping every parade (or at least trying to) in chronological order (which becomes more difficult as the drinking progresses.) We defend the Krewe of Druids’s right to exist and be not very P/C so long as they are at least serviceably clever about it.

We pick on the “Self-proclaimed Superkrewe” Nyx (even though many of our friends rode in it and we had a good time watching.) What is a “Superkrewe”? Lord do we ever examine this mystery.  Every Superkrewe needs: 1) A C-list celebrity, 2) At least one truck with spotlights, 3) At least one stupidly huge signature float 4) Original floats (clever theme preferred but not necessary). 5) To throw heavily. There were probably some other criteria mentioned.

Is Muses over?  Some say yes, Jeff emphatically says no. What is the best way to stage a parade? What is the best way to enjoy a parade?  Should Jeff write a novel about Solange’s ring?

Friday night: Hermes was pretty. D’etat’s parade was almost a carbon copy of Chaos’s. Varg took the night off and yelled at some people camping out for Endymion instead.

Saturday: Iris has navigational issues.  Tucks is the best Tucks ever. Drones and hoverboards everywhere. Varg skipped Endymion to make a costume and to burn things in the back yard (NSFW) Jeff also skipped Endymion. Skipping Endymion might have been the right idea all around given what happened.

Sunday: Varg goes to Thoth and some idiot https://www.instagram.com/p/BBgH-I5QaGY/ has to involve politicized throws. Box Of Wine rituals. Serendipitous Bacchus. Jeff rides that day and brings politicized throws with him.   He also almost has a ruinous experience but recovers. In the past, Varg has lost 2 phones during Mardi Gras which sucks. LaToya Cantrell does not care for the politicized throws.  Bacchus had lasers and shit Folks out on the neutral ground had televisions so you could watch the Superbowl there.  At some point in the infinite universe the Saints will play in the Superbowl in New Orleans on Thoth-Bacchus Sunday.

Finally, we raise the question of whether or not Orpheus belongs on Lundi Gras or should be moved to Fat Tuesday. But we’ll cover that in the next upload.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 8.5-A The Mardi Gras Superkrewe Review (First Unit)

Alli is still wiped by Mardi Gras so it falls to Varg and Jeff to re-cap the whole thing in this extra long Freebird episode. But first Jeff insists on mentioning the fact that politics are happening and saying a few cursory things about the looming state budget process. That out of the way, though, the drinking can begin. And it does and it goes on for a very long time. We recorded all of it and broke it out into three separate mini-episodes for your convenience.  Think of this as one large compound float of Carnival reminiscence.

In this, the first part, Varg tells about marching in Chewbacchus as well as the inspiration behind his Prince Voltan costume, the delicious treats available there, and the experience of being rescued by a squad of Jedi.  Chewbacchus is more chaotic than it appears.  People get lost, floats malfunction, an out of control rocket cycle wreaks havoc.  

Jeff reveals that he has seen almost all of the Uptown parades and ranked them  The first weekend is a time to get used to parading, walk up and down the route and get the lay of the land. Sometimes there are interesting items for sale.  Krewe of Freret seems like it is in pretty bad shape what with not having any riders and all.  We talk some shit about the parades at the bottom of the rankings.

After that we decide to take a break.   Catch part two of our Superkrewe in the next upload.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 8: Bacchus sucks and other Carnival facts

It’s the Great Big Hunkderdowncast Mardi Gras Preview SpectacularFest. Kind of like Family Gras if you could listen to it on your phone.

Segment 1

This show is supposed to be all about Carnival but for whatever reason we start off talking about Star Wars and then go off on several other odd tangents. Learn how Japanese vending machines work. Learn how to read menus. Imagine how Sarah Palin might read your menu to you. That kind of thing. Also Jeff tried to book Donald Trump on the show to no avail.

Anyway let’s do Carnival season.  Heavy parading season hasn’t even begun yet and Varg’s metaphorical football team is already in cap hell. Alli marched in Krewe Du Vieux. We re-cap that as well as review KDV in general. Parade was good. Jeff took shitty pictures of it. Flickr is the Abe Vigoda of social media.

We talk for a while about which celebrities are dead and which are not dead. We also find a song about dead Abe Vigoda  co-written by our dearly departed friend Greg Peters which you may enjoy.

Krewe of Spank’s theme may of may not have killed Varg’s FloraBama Chad character. We do know that they’ve proved beyond any doubt that #KreweOfChad has arrived and gone big time. Meanwhile, we suggest that there also exists a “Krewe of Courtney” and decide that the Hunkerdowncast audience will henceforth be known as Tim en ’em.

Varg and Alli talk about the David Bowie second line which they participated in.. insofar as they were out in the crowd while it was happening.  Varg previews his Chewbacchus costume which is apparently, this. Chewbacchus is super huge now. Does this prove we can still have multiple parade routes?

Segment 2

There might be hidden tracks in your “Da Mayor/Big Freedia/Chewbacca In Your Pocket” thingy so try to find those.  Try and pair different beers with cookies and see what you can find. AANYWAY more Mardi Gras.

Alli once yelled at this year’s King of Bacchus at a Saints game for dissing Marques Colston. Varg tells us about previous Kings of Bacchus who were good. Which is nice because this year’s cannot possibly be.  This is going to be one of those years where Bacchus goes up against the SuperBowl. Is there a way to handle that? Yes there is

How do you best capture the moment on Thoth/Bacchus Sunday?

How do you train your body in the weeks leading up to heavy parading season?

What are your favorite parade watching rituals?

Which parades do you hate?

Segment 3

Are You Not Entertained

Varg is entertained by some Chads at a Rebirth show. It’s always a good idea to threaten to shoot first and ask questions later. Other things happen. Movies and whatnot.

Then there’s the Jivewire.

And then there’s a quick look ahead to the Iowa caucus. And then that’s it for this week. Thanks for listening, Tim en ’em!

We hunkered down again!

Episode 7: The Mork From Ork Awakens

This week we realize the show’s mission to record and examine the process of alcoholic descent into incoherence in its platonic ideal of downward sloping trajectory.  Somehow it makes for compelling radio anyway.  Consider this the Russian dash cam video of podcast episodes.

Alli has jury duty, Jeff has car trouble and Varg has a bathtub. Nobody is really back from the holidays and now we have to start Carnival. In the meantime, Jeff tries to make the show pretend news is happening.

The news: Gene Mills is a terrible person, Jeff is strangely optimistic about the new governor, the river is in flood.  It is suggested that the river can be calmed by throwing a sacrificial football into it.

The other news:  A comically hip Bywater spot closed this week. (Surprise! It was a Pop-Up the whole time.) Everyone shares their favorite Booty’s memories. Predictably, Doug MacCash is involved.  Varg recommends several places you can still eat in Bywater. Somehow this leads to Alli explaining what a caganer is and also showing us that she has one.

In sports, Sean Payton really loves potholes. Probably because he’s on drugs. Also probably because nobody wanted to hire him… probably also because he is on drugs.

Meanwhile, thanks to the intrepid reporting of @angrywhodat, we learn that Sean Payton’s brother is a vaguely racist  professional magician. Because of course.

Also some college football happened.

Other items of note: Alli’s mom says “Phat,” Kenny Chesney is the Drake of football, and Varg really likes Les Miles’s style. Also Jeff is strangely optimistic about the 2016 Saints.

In this week’s Are You Not Entertained Varg has some oysters and harasses Sugar Bowl fans. Jeff and Varg check out the Phunny Phorty Phellows. Alli watches baking shows and plays laser tag.

This segment is where things really start to come off the rails.  Bonus points if you can spot the many edits. Somehow we still manage to learn that Varg really likes scrunchies, Jeff wants to be homeless when he grows up, and that people who live in different regions sometimes talk funny. Also Flora-Bama Chad drops in for a few words.

Jivewire this week features a few submissions this week from Kevin Allman. (Submit your gig to us via twitter, email, etc.)

Alli shares a recipe minute, and then the whole show collapses in the traditional drunken moment of self-actualization.

Thanks again for listening.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 6: The Hunkerdowncast 2015 Year In … quite detailed… Review

Settle in, y’all this one runs long.  But we’re sure it’s worth it. Probably.  We don’t want to get involved in grading this episode or anything but, if we did, let’s say it’s a solid C.

Just kidding. It’s the Hunkerdowncast 2015 Year In Review (Not to be confused with Gambit’s “Best of”) and of course you will want to listen to the whole two hours.. at your leisure.

In this one, we each take turns sharing our individual lists of the stories and events that made 2015 what it was.  Topics will definitely include but not necessarily be limited to the following.

VARG’S 2015

– Winning Mardi Gras

– Katrinaversary angst and Katrinaversary angst angst.

– The Tenth Rising Tide Conference

– The Smoking Ban

– Jazzfest crowd control

– More layoffs at the Times-Picayune

ALLI’S 2015

– The Lafitte Greenway opens

– The public library millage

– Movies about space

– Exhibit Be

– Twitter comedy

JEFF’S 2015

– The Gubernatorial Election

– Bobby Jindal’s (sort of) Presidential campaign

– NOLA Gentrification

– SELA project and road construction

– Monument angst

– Many many sports things

Along the way we learn about how to score Mardi Gras like football. We encourage the public to troll Engineer Pat on the internet. Allen Toussaint maybe sort of drove like an asshole a little bit. Jeff is particular about where he parks his bike.

Assorted media commentary: We really lay into poor Doug MacCash for some reason.  We also get after Jeff Duncan for.. well.. obvious reasons. We’re also quite nice to Alison Fensterstock.  Tyler Bridges and Jeremy Alford are working on a book we will want to read.

Varg explains that there are C, B and A level assholes. Alli likes movies that have fun sound effects. Muppet baseball is some sort of a thing. Also, it doesn’t matter if you are a child or a city official, you probably will enjoy some art.

Other things happen. Alli explains that the city of New Orleans is built on top of wet coffee grounds. The first hint of the long promised “Moseley on Moseley” sketch appears. Jeff begins the show being kind of mean to Mayor Landrieu but later on is nice to him.

Finally we share some 2016 predictions. And, just in case that isn’t enough, we run you through the Jivewire again.

Special thanks to @Peris for the King Cake vape question.  Thanks also to Scott Colesby (@socalledsomeone) for this bluesy “Ace of Spades” cover. And, of course, our friend and honoree @NotBobbyJindal You may pick up your prize if and when we figure out what it is.

Anyway thanks for listening. Happy New Year. Come back and see us in 2016.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 5: The Hunkerdowncast Holiday Special

So it’s Christmas Eve Eve.. or as the popular culture has deemed it.. Festivus.  Are we recording tonight from Carrollton? West Carrollton?  Hollygrove?  Varg thinks it’s “the non-shooting side of Hollygrove” but the map may not agree.

This week we’re gonna just take Twitter questions for a while. Thanks to Tim and Karl and also Shira for your submissions.

Varg very badly wanted to be the mastermind behind the scenes profiting from the monument controversy but it didn’t quite work out.

The Confederate Museum has become the “Up” house.

“Aggressive tweeting” is usually not a good outreach strategy. If you’d like to be on the show tweet at us tactfully in 2016.

Jeff and Pat are the Pullman/Paxton of the Hunkerdowncast Universe. Various other famous (and not so famous) people look like other famous or not famous people. For instance, Alli has a thing for Kliff Kingsbury and/or Ryan Gosling. This leads to us looking at our phones for a while.

The Texas Tidy Bowl is coming. Texas Tech cunningly plays no defense. Les Miles goes Christmas shopping in the way that you would expect Les Miles to go Christmas shopping.

Is Drew Brees gonna play or what?  Do you even need a plantar fascia anyway? The Saints’ season wasn’t good but this doesn’t mean it was boring. We re-cap some of our favorite moments.

Marques Colston is old.  Varg asks for help differentiating Ralph Marbrough from Bradley Warshauer.  Anyway.. Marques Colston is old.

What is the best local Holiday recording?

Varg likes this song.  Varg actually has a whole list. Alli forces us to talk about the 12 Yats of Christmas.  We discuss our Christmas plans and try not to be too glum about it despite the crap weather. Everyone seems like they’re in a strange mood about it.  Varg hates Mr. Bingle, for example, and he takes it out on the LaBordes for some reason.

In “Are You Not Entertained” this week, we all went to a soccer game which was ruined by Tom Benson somehow.  In a related matter, Varg once tripped while wearing an alligator costume. Also the St. Louis Cathedral is a crappy music venue.

Congratulations to Alli on her academic achievement. But more importantly, Jeff is still really sick of Bronze Tom.

Recipe Minute with Varg’s Manhattan-inspired cocktail.

Jivewire (Please get out and see Drunk Ros Fest if you can)

Have a great Holiday, everybody. Thanks for listening.

We hunkered down again!

Episode 4: Monument Bingo

Hey congratulations to us on not even knowing what number episode this is supposed to be. We’re gonna celebrate by drinking. Thanks to the listeners. If you are a listener we will probably say your name on the show.

Mid-City looks a lot like Metairie these days. The Greenway is nice but…

Aaaanyway let’s talk about Confederate monuments. The City Council held like the 50th public hearing on monument removal Thursday night and Engineer Pat created a Bingo board for those of you playing along at home.   (Of course every player blacked out the board by the end.) In any case, we liked watching the hearing. It was fun to watch people we know on TV. It was also fun to watch some people we don’t know say crazy things. Also, learn about the French Revolution in your spare time if you have any. Meanwhile, LaToya Cantrell wants to be mayor. That might mean something here.

Some people who live in the Lower Pontalba apartments are getting their rent jacked up.  One of them thinks Jackson Square is a “cesspool.” Varg takes issue with that. Jeff has difficulty pronouncing the word, “Pontalba” It is legal to edit Wikipedia pages. 

In sports, we lament the demise of the USFL 30 years later because Donald Trump is the worst. Steve Spurrier might have been a fun NFL commissioner. The Saints are bad, still. Brandon Browner is not particularly great. Sean Payton may or may not be sleeping with his possibly imaginary esthetician. There are 4 games left but the Saints have already shut it all down for the year.

Notre Dame lost to Stanford which is a thing they don’t like to do. Alli explains some bowl pairings and the College Football playoff. Apparently, people like Michigan State. We ruminate on Tiger Stadium memories and try to find out if people can hear a photograph we are looking at.

This week’s Are You Not Entertained segment finds Varg checking out the holiday decorations and cocktail service at the Roosevelt Hotel. What is the correct seasonal liquor?  What is the correct “old man” liquor? What is the correct “cool weather” liquor?  What is the correct “the Saints are having a shitty year” liquor? One festive holiday activity at the Roosevelt involves watching drunk people do faceplants.

Alli visits Houston and has fun there. They have an Ikea and some tacos and other starches and breads. There’s also food you can buy between Houston and here. Alli shares a very short Recipe Minute.

Jeff went to a bar and endured multiple Scott Weiland jukebox tributes.

Which famous musician dies next? Tweet us your thoughts!


Jeff has had so much beer that he cannot pronounce the word, “Jivewire.”  Also, check out the fancy acoustic Stone Temple Pilots bumper music courtesy of Engineer Pat. Thanks again, everyone for listening!

We hunkered down again!

Episode 3.5 We Know Where The Turkeys are Buried

A different kind of Freebird. (Jeff and Alli. No Varg this time)

So Louisiana elected a new Governor and sent David Vitter off into the great beyond and it is at least partially due to Bobby Jindal saving the day. Now it’s up to John Bel Edwards and his friends at Confederate General Hall to Make Louisiana Great Again.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and we have many many recipe minutes to share. One of those involves burying turkeys in the back yard and… waiting for them to sprout.. or something.

In sports, Les Miles Lives! The Detroit Lions have a fun fight song. Huey Long invented great football fight songs. “John Bel” is in the great tradition of Louisiana Governor names.

Finally, some extended commentary on the crime of refrigerating tomatoes. (As seen on Shutdown Fullcast)

Next week… Episode 4? Or do we examine Zeno’s Paradox again?

We hunkered down again!

Episode 3 Bye, Bye Bobby…

Hey look Alli is back and she is everyone’s favorite. Bobby Jindal is quitting the Presidential race so we stoop so low as to do a “Breaking News” sound effect. But it’s okay because Alli sings a song.  It’s not Bobby’s time. When was Bobby’s time anyway? Get ready for the Bobby Jindal Legacy Mystery Tour. We try to figure out what went wrong with Bobby and decide it’s because he’s a nerd but not in a fun way.  Also he is phony and just generally not good.

Oh but uh oh now we have to go get a new governor. Can John Bel Edwards win and how badly will he suck?  Is David Vitter a “dork” or an “asshole”?  Alli officially endorses John Bel.  Syrian refugees sort of become a campaign issue. NOLA.com runs a Q&A on the topic.

Jeff promised to put more refugee links in the show notes. Here are two.

Juan Cole: Paris terrorist attacks: Can France avoid trap of fear and exclusion?

Lydia Wilson: What I Discovered From Interviewing Imprisoned ISIS Fighters

A very shouty debate happened this week.  How many “goofy” governors have there been? David Vitter wants us to ride around in purple party buses or something.

Some… um… experimental bumper music happens.

In sports, we… well we had to do a second take because the first time we left the reverb on.  Alli really wants to talk about Notre Dame but we have trouble getting excited about that. Otherwise, we’re very sad about the Saints. We’re sad about Rob Ryan. There are sad ways to watch sad football such as from airplanes and The Orient.  We’re sad about many things because sports are sad nowadays.

Sean Payton trolled the press because Larry Holder wrote this and Nick Underhill wrote this.  Saints defensive coordinators are ritually fattened and harvested. Sean Payton is a dick and Rob Ryan is a great man who will be missed.  We rank New Orleans sports mascots.

New segment! “Are you not entertained?”  Varg sees Pucifer at the Saenger, Neid Degrasse Tyson also at the Saenger, and James McMurtry at One Eyed Jack’s.  Alli tours the various subway systems of Japan and Singapore.  Jeff visits the emergency room.

The Recipe Minute is back and longer than ever. The Jivewire also is back.

This was a good show. Thanks for downloading and listening.

We hunkered down again!