Episode 8: Bacchus sucks and other Carnival facts

It’s the Great Big Hunkderdowncast Mardi Gras Preview SpectacularFest. Kind of like Family Gras if you could listen to it on your phone.

Segment 1

This show is supposed to be all about Carnival but for whatever reason we start off talking about Star Wars and then go off on several other odd tangents. Learn how Japanese vending machines work. Learn how to read menus. Imagine how Sarah Palin might read your menu to you. That kind of thing. Also Jeff tried to book Donald Trump on the show to no avail.

Anyway let’s do Carnival season.  Heavy parading season hasn’t even begun yet and Varg’s metaphorical football team is already in cap hell. Alli marched in Krewe Du Vieux. We re-cap that as well as review KDV in general. Parade was good. Jeff took shitty pictures of it. Flickr is the Abe Vigoda of social media.

We talk for a while about which celebrities are dead and which are not dead. We also find a song about dead Abe Vigoda  co-written by our dearly departed friend Greg Peters which you may enjoy.

Krewe of Spank’s theme may of may not have killed Varg’s FloraBama Chad character. We do know that they’ve proved beyond any doubt that #KreweOfChad has arrived and gone big time. Meanwhile, we suggest that there also exists a “Krewe of Courtney” and decide that the Hunkerdowncast audience will henceforth be known as Tim en ’em.

Varg and Alli talk about the David Bowie second line which they participated in.. insofar as they were out in the crowd while it was happening.  Varg previews his Chewbacchus costume which is apparently, this. Chewbacchus is super huge now. Does this prove we can still have multiple parade routes?

Segment 2

There might be hidden tracks in your “Da Mayor/Big Freedia/Chewbacca In Your Pocket” thingy so try to find those.  Try and pair different beers with cookies and see what you can find. AANYWAY more Mardi Gras.

Alli once yelled at this year’s King of Bacchus at a Saints game for dissing Marques Colston. Varg tells us about previous Kings of Bacchus who were good. Which is nice because this year’s cannot possibly be.  This is going to be one of those years where Bacchus goes up against the SuperBowl. Is there a way to handle that? Yes there is

How do you best capture the moment on Thoth/Bacchus Sunday?

How do you train your body in the weeks leading up to heavy parading season?

What are your favorite parade watching rituals?

Which parades do you hate?

Segment 3

Are You Not Entertained

Varg is entertained by some Chads at a Rebirth show. It’s always a good idea to threaten to shoot first and ask questions later. Other things happen. Movies and whatnot.

Then there’s the Jivewire.

And then there’s a quick look ahead to the Iowa caucus. And then that’s it for this week. Thanks for listening, Tim en ’em!

We hunkered down again!

Episode 7: The Mork From Ork Awakens

This week we realize the show’s mission to record and examine the process of alcoholic descent into incoherence in its platonic ideal of downward sloping trajectory.  Somehow it makes for compelling radio anyway.  Consider this the Russian dash cam video of podcast episodes.

Alli has jury duty, Jeff has car trouble and Varg has a bathtub. Nobody is really back from the holidays and now we have to start Carnival. In the meantime, Jeff tries to make the show pretend news is happening.

The news: Gene Mills is a terrible person, Jeff is strangely optimistic about the new governor, the river is in flood.  It is suggested that the river can be calmed by throwing a sacrificial football into it.

The other news:  A comically hip Bywater spot closed this week. (Surprise! It was a Pop-Up the whole time.) Everyone shares their favorite Booty’s memories. Predictably, Doug MacCash is involved.  Varg recommends several places you can still eat in Bywater. Somehow this leads to Alli explaining what a caganer is and also showing us that she has one.

In sports, Sean Payton really loves potholes. Probably because he’s on drugs. Also probably because nobody wanted to hire him… probably also because he is on drugs.

Meanwhile, thanks to the intrepid reporting of @angrywhodat, we learn that Sean Payton’s brother is a vaguely racist  professional magician. Because of course.

Also some college football happened.

Other items of note: Alli’s mom says “Phat,” Kenny Chesney is the Drake of football, and Varg really likes Les Miles’s style. Also Jeff is strangely optimistic about the 2016 Saints.

In this week’s Are You Not Entertained Varg has some oysters and harasses Sugar Bowl fans. Jeff and Varg check out the Phunny Phorty Phellows. Alli watches baking shows and plays laser tag.

This segment is where things really start to come off the rails.  Bonus points if you can spot the many edits. Somehow we still manage to learn that Varg really likes scrunchies, Jeff wants to be homeless when he grows up, and that people who live in different regions sometimes talk funny. Also Flora-Bama Chad drops in for a few words.

Jivewire this week features a few submissions this week from Kevin Allman. (Submit your gig to us via twitter, email, etc.)

Alli shares a recipe minute, and then the whole show collapses in the traditional drunken moment of self-actualization.

Thanks again for listening.

We hunkered down again!