Episode 27.5: The Shit-Smeared Child of Mardi Gras

That’s right. This is a “Freebird” show. This week, it’s just Jeff and Varg and Varg’s hourglass. We set out on a mission to only talk for one hour this week and? almost? make it work. Turns out there was a lot to cover and we barely got to any of it.  Mostly what we do is look back at the Superbowl (Hey did you hear the Falcons blew a 25 point lead?) and then look forward to Mardi Gras.

Do you feel extra pressure to have a good Mardi Gras this year? Is The Time Of Trump liable to make it less fun? What about the NBA All Star Game? And, of course, there is always the #KreweOfChad problem. Jeff thinks he has some advice. Varg has some slightly different advice. It gets weirdly philosophical. Anyway, here are some items that get referenced along the way.

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Episode 27 Hatefucking the Peacock

Hello it’s us making our 2017 debut during the final week of January.  Sorry Tim en em. We’ll try not to leave you in the bar by yourself for so long in the future.

Segment One (about 57 minutes)

Dizneylandrieu is back! The mayor unveiled a “security plan” that involves various heresies such as mandatory bar closing times.  What does this mean for the future of nightlife in the Quarter or for the character of the city in general?  What if it pushes more tourists into the neighborhoods? What will the peacocks do?

We live in the Time Of Trump now and people are doing #Resistance in the streets. The results so far are?. decidedly mixed. Jeff went to the Inauguration Day protest at Duncan Plaza. Alli went to the following day’s Women’s March. Varg experienced the aftermath of the Women’s March in the Quarter. We compare notes and talk political strategy. More grass roots organizing. Less David Brock.

SOSO (app 30 minutes)

Varg once harassed Poppy Tooker on the street.  Alli had a steak at Doris Metropolitan, planted some trees, saw Rogue One, and is into a Japanese reality show called Terrace House.  Varg shares a vignette from Molly’s at The Market where the remnants of the Women’s March met collided with the remnants of a friend’s memorial service. Jeff talks about the awkwardness of being at a protest and anticipates the joy of Carnival.

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Episode 26.5 The People’s Front of Judea Goes to #Pizzagate

Hey, Tim en ’em. This is a special bonus episode we made out of a very long outtake from Episode 26.  Here you’ll find Jeff, Lance, and Alli get into a somewhat heated argument over the so-called “fake news” phenomenon.  We don’t really resolve anything. But we do yell at each other an awful lot which is fun.  This lasts about 45 minutes altogether. Enjoy!

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Episode 26: Donald Trump is the new normal.. or the Newell Normand or something like that

Apologies to Foster Campbell who we know wanted to be with us this week. We couldn’t make it happen. Yet another thing about this election cycle is now our fault. Alli did meet Foster at an LSU game but, unfortunately no one there did a keg stand.  How a candidate drinks is very important.

Segment One (about 55 minutes)

In the first segment we try to talk about the Louisiana Senate race but end up getting sidetracked as the conversation, as most political conversations do nowadays, comes under the shadow of Donald Trump and his various foibles. Also there are some odd ideas for monetizing the podcast. Somehow we misattribute the US official recognition of the One China policy to Nixon and not Carter. We regret the error.  Alli has a personal connection to Betsy DeVos which yields a somewhat creepy story. Ben Carson floated off the planet. Ben Carson was a scam.  We also complain that Democrats spend too much time yelling at each other.

Segment Two (55 – 1:08)

Speed Round topics this time are 1) Sidney Torres 2) Newell Normand 3) Stuart Fisher

SOSO

Jeff wants to talk about people not showing up for Saints games.. Which makes this kind of a sports segment.  Jeff also went to Pavo Real which leads to a confusing New Orleans geography discussion.

Lance saw Dolly Parton at the Smoothie King Center.

Alli went to Chicago for Thanksgiving. She also talks about the turkey gumbo she made.

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Episode 25: Flashing Lights Against The Sky

Episode 25. Or 6 to 4. Whatever the hell that means.  Also It’s TEOTWAWKI whatever that means.  What are your favorite apocalyptic songs and/or movies.  What does the Doomsday Clock say right now, anyway? Has anybody checked?  Anyway we’re in this mood because, well, reasons.  This show is just one segment and it’s us kvetching about the election. Sorry/Not sorry.  

Trump wine tastes like it should come from a box. Election results theater should also come from a box. The Lens does a really great  results map. Also everybody was super-wrong about how this thing would go. But somehow it is all Jeff’s fault.

Or maybe it was Hillary’s fault. Or maybe it was something else.  We get deep into it.  This NYT story about a Carrier plant in Indiana comes up. So does this Advertiser article about Cameron Parish.  Voters there are worried about jobs in offshore drilling. David Hammer’s latest investigation shows that “regulations” aren’t really what’s slowing that industry down right now. How do you reach the voters Hillary couldn’t?  

How bad can Trump actually be, by the way? (It might be very bad)  Does he know or care what he is doing or what a President is supposed to do?  

What do we do next? One thing would be to not elect John Kennedy to the Senate, although that will be hard when Caroline Fayard is still causing problems. Beyond that, though, how do people find ways to organize both inside of and independently of their political parties? Alli has some ideas inspired by this Jonathan Schwarz article.  Lance has a short sermon on constructive communication.

Twitter responds to our call for Trump cabinet suggestions.

Finally Varg has a question about Williams Supermarket.

Other than that, there’s no regular features. No Jivewire or SOSO. Just needed to get the Trump stuff out this time. We’ll be back in form next time out.

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Episode 24.5: Going to court is kind of like getting drugs

There’s a cold open where we try to play a name your favorite NPR personality game but end up naming Saints quarterbacks.

Anyway, it’s our first “Freebird” show in some time. Alli is not available this week. Next week we anticipate Varg being gone so she can talk behind his back as well.  Happy Varg Gras. This is a celebration of Varg’s birthday but also of all things in life more or less. It goes on for a week or so this time of year.  In these Freebird episodes, we talk loosely about a list of stuff. Here’s some of what we touched on.

The City Council’s short term rental vote went about as badly as one can have expected.  What will be the fallout from that?  Jeff is the Tito Santana of the gentrification process.

The Being NOLA Twitter project is ending. Did we all have the power to Be NOLA all along.  Lance describes a failed conspiracy to possibly hi-jack the account.

It’s early voting week so we talk a little bit about the Senate and Presidential races. A bit about the unlikely possibility of getting two Democrats into the Senate runoff. Also, what’s next for the Republican Party after Trump?

City Budget hearings are underway. The mayor wants to double the number of traffic cameras. Varg hates this shit to the point of wanting to “get civil disobedient with a fucking pellet gun”  But he also has further issues with revenue collectors that may exacerbate the matter.  Aside: Revenue schemes based on fees collected through aggressive policing is basically what caused Ferguson.

The Saints are bad but that is fine. We’re both going to the Seahawks game on All Saints Weekend. Varg remembers a terrible looking college football uniform

BONUS CONTENT: Twitter questions from Tim en em.  Something about 70s TV shows. A song.. Sort of. Life down on de bayou. And finally, going to court is like getting drugs.

Next week: Probably more Freebird with Jeff and Alli.

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Episode 24: Bending reality

Congratulations to us on one full year of spectacular podcasting!  We celebrate by totally botching and having to re-record a whole segment. It’s okay because it gives Alli a chance to sing more and we learn fascinating new Varg facts. Seriously, though, we appreciate the (mostly) positive reception from Tim en em. We’ll have those satin jackets ready any day now.

More than anything else, we’re proud of the way things we’ve imagined on the show seem to have come true in reality throughout the year. It’s a running theme throughout this episode and a sign that we have arrived as a podcast that matters.

Segment One: (About 32 minutes long)

We talk reconnect with episode one a bit with an update on Louisiana’s coastal master plan. (Things are still not good.)  In a somewhat related matter we spend some time talking about the Governor’s lawsuit against the oil and gas industry particularly as it relates to which Senate candidates are and are not supporting it. We follow up with a quick look at the field in the Senate race and some of the stranger ads that have been running including one where John Kennedy loves his handgun and Caroline Fayard appears to use children as human shields.

Segment Two: (About 40 minutes long)

Varg is a jerk about Mike VI and cancer patients in general. Although “Child stars or college mascots: who dies quicker?” is an intriguing topic. But really this is all about the LSU – Florida game getting postponed. So we fight about that a while too before going in to the regular college and pro football talk.  Stanford and Notre Dame is about to happen. Notre Dame’s season is in the shitter. Wait til basketball season.  The Saints/Chargers game was so ridiculous that Jeff got blocked on Twitter by another public figure. Life is weird in the Upside Down.  Varg asks if anyone thinks about pro sports teams in terms of how bad their owners are. And it turns out that yes this happens a lot.

S.O.S.O.

Lance is currently reading some Louisiana true crime books. Mr. New Orleans, the ghost written memoir of  Frenchy Brouillette and Murder In The Bayou by Ethan Brown.  The latter of these is of some relevance to the current Senate election so we talk about it for a while. Then Varg has to split.  Alli participated in a pirate themed pub crawl through Mid City. Jeff attended a destination funeral. Alli mentions a benefit for Hatian hurricane victims coming up Sunday night.

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Finally another big thanks to Tim en em. It’s been a fun year. We’ll see y’all in 2017. 

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Episode 23: In The Streets

Cold open is a debate between former Saints head coach Jim Mora and himself from twenty and thirty years ago.

There are a few spots during the show where the audio isn’t so good. Sorry about that.

Are we here to discuss Alt-Right memes? Are we here to talk about other podcasts we like? Not really. Actually we’re here to introduce some man-on-the street reports collected by Lance over the past week.  We end up talking a lot too, though.  

Segment One: (About 30 minutes long)

Our first report comes from Jackson Square artist Reggie Ford who, along with Varg, witnessed the #TakeEmDownNOLA protest there last weekend as well as a sorry counterprotest by David Duke who Lance managed to flip off.  Other points of interest. There were developments in the monuments lawsuit the day we recorded. Also “The Overton Window” After Reggie’s interview, Jeff reads a passage from Cross To Bear by John Maginnis about David Duke’s sexual exploits during the 1991 governor’s race.

Segment Two: (About 30 minutes long)

Next we have sports content. First a re-cap of the Saints-Falcons Monday Night game. Then, Lance’s bizarre Les Miles to the Saints theory.  Oh and some stuff about DaCOACHO and the state of college football coaching generally. After that, a special guest commentary from Deurty Boy Jeremy Hebert on Les Miles and his legacy.

S.O.S.O.

Actually we talk a bit about the upcoming City Council hearing on short term rentals.  All three of us went to a Tweet-up at the Bayou Beer Garden.. Which turns out to be kind of a controversial venue. Also Varg slags on Mid City pretty hard. Then there’s more man on the street reporting from Alli, Lance, and Ros at the Beyonce concert somewhat drunk and contemplating Bronze Tom.  

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Finally, a note on fireworks.

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Episode 22: Shipping

The theme this week is “shipping.”  Your favorite potential couple. Will they or won’t they?  Lance and Alli sharing a mic?  Jeff and Mark Ingram having a spat? You never know when sparks are gonna fly.  We talk about how Ingram owned Jeff on Twitter even as the two of them came sooo close to being on the exact same side of a thing.  Will they ever kiss and make up? Tune in next time.

Segment 1: (about an hour and fifteen minutes)

Varg wants to re-litigate Kaepernick. Alli just wants to sing. Also know your meme with the Harambe Explainer! And Yeti Butts. (look it up) John Bel Edwards said some dumb things on his radio show.  Is police violence increasing?  Statistics say it is?

Football talk:

LSU beat Mississippi State. This satisfied exactly zero LSU fans. LSU plays Auburn this weekend but Alli and Lance won’t watch it because they are negotiating for Beyonce tickets while recording this show.  Also there’s a fairly comprehensive look at this weekend’s college games. We joke about what might happen if LSU loses or if Notre Dame loses to Duke or if Oregon loses to Colorado. Little did we know?

The Saints are bad. Are Loomis-Payton overrated? Are they “dug in?” Or are they gone when Benson is gone? How drunk is Alli at this point in the show? (Quite) Also the SEC is being taken over by Purdue transfers and Alli doesn’t watch the Saints anymore.

Lance has a weird idea about how high school sports should work.

SOSO: (about 20 minutes)

Alli is drunk.  Jeff really wants everyone to know how drunk Alli is. Also Jeff is pretty drunk.

Alli talks about her trip to Cape Cod, her visit to the Ogden museum, and a book signing by Etgar Keret.

Varg has more adventures down the bayou. Eats at Flanagan’s in Thibodaux, attends a flood victims’ benefit show at Beck’s bar in Raceland, and then goes to Chauvin to check out an art show. Back in town for dinner at Sac-A-Lait.

Jeff chooses to spend his portion of this segment talking about the fake kale gumbo controversy. His idea is to link it to the increasingly slick phenomenon of social media astroturfing but we run out of time.

Recipe minute: Gumbo Z’herbes. Because you can put fucking kale in it if you want to.

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Episode 21: Remember Football 2016 Like It Was Yesterday

This episode runs long because it was recorded in two very long sessions that were later mixed together. One with Alli and Jeff and the other with Varg and Jeff.  Each session consists of a Football segment and a SOSO segment. In the show they appear as two segments that jump between sessions. We’ve marked the times in these notes for your convenience.

Intro: Jeff and Lance ( Open – 18:47 )

One time in Florida somebody beheaded a goose. Thanks to TK Wharton for setting our levels for us. Jeff and Varg try to parse out some local Twitter drama neither of them understand well which leads to Varg telling a story about a time he got catfished.  Did the election make everybody on Twitter oversensitive?

Segment 1: ALL FOOTBAW  

Alli and Jeff (19:04 – 56:41)

Alli and Jeff talk about LSU’s faceplant in Wisconsin and the LSU fan overreaction. What should  a college coach even be?  What are the political and moral implications of being a football coach, player, or fan. We discuss this Deadspin piece about labor issues in college football and this amazing Spencer Hall article about the wider notions of football fandom and American citizenship.

Alli also recaps Notre Dame’s thrilling loss to Texas. Can either Notre Dame or LSU recover from their opening day losses?  What are the challenges for each the rest of the season? Can pro coaches develop college players? Or do they have “NFL AIDS” all over them? The knives are already out for Les Miles. Should they be, though?

Do the Saints have too many Stanford players on the roster?  They have two. That may be too many.  Consider, for instance, this story about Sean Payton’s relationship with Stanford coaches, players, and their families.  Do the Saints have enough Notre Dame players on the roster? They have zero.

Lance and Jeff (56:58 – 1:37:30)

Jeff and Lance pick up the Les Miles thread for a while. Is there added pressure on LSU this year to “lift the spirits” of fans after the flood? What’s the deal with Louisiana sports fans. Someone should write a book. (There are actually a lot of books about this) When will we win our oil spill championship?

Sean Payton remembers things “like it was yesterday.” The Saints are probably gonna be bad.  How bad? The guys make pointless predictions.  Also Lance describes some exotic bets.

 

HALFTIME SHOW: “Football For Pussy” by Wagon Train

 

Segment 2: SOSO

Alli and Jeff (1:42:15 – 2:03)

Alli takes a Faulknerian road trip to Memphis and does all the things there. Drinks at Madison Hotel, food and drinks and stuff at Loflin Yard, drinks again on Beale Street. You get the idea. Also something called “aerial silks” happens.  Other points of interest: Shelby Farms Park, Paula and Raiford’s Disco. On the way back through Mississippi, Square Books, the Windsor Ruins, the Ole Miss campus, and “The Grove” which is apparently bullshit.  

Jeff and Lance (2:03:20 – end)

Jeff wants to talk about the fan experience at the Superdome. Mostly, though, he just complains about beer prices and the “South Market District” gentrification nearby.  Varg GOES OFF on Colin Kaepernick’s national anthem protest.

Also Lance has been watching TundaMinous on the Cajun Nerd Media YouTube channel and closed out summer with a day drinking event called Seersucker Wednesday.

There is also a recipe minute in here somewhere.

And that’ll do it for this week. Thanks again for listening.  Sorry this thing ran so long. Thanks for bearing with our little experiment.

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